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Aug. 31st, 2008 01:37 amChapter 38
(Frank's POV)
Walking out of the hospital towards the stadium where we were still parked i realised something, Bob was acting weird really really weird.
I unlocked the bus door and walked on, Gerard was sitting at the counter with Billie, Tre and Mike deep in disscusion and Ray was sitting on the sofa doing well nothing. "Hey Ray can i talk to you please" i asked so i could see what he thought of Bob "sure whats up" he asked looking up from his hands. "Well it's Bob" i explain and all heads turn to me "oh my god whats he done now" Ray cried. Ok maybe not the best choice in words "no hes ok well atleast i think he is its just he was acting weird when i just went to see him" i explained and they carmed and the others went back to there convosations. "Frank hes been through alot of course hes going to act weird what did he do just stare at the wall" he said before continuing to look at his hands again. "No actually" i said "he pretended to be a heart moniter then asked me to wear a nurses outfit" i told him "what?" he laughed "yeh seriously". Ok i was expecting them to take it seriously not just laugh "Ray its not funny thats not Bob at all he's allways quiet not loud and cheeky thats my job". "Look Frank he will be fine give him time and he will be back to normal Bob not that any of us have ever been normal" he laughs and pulls me into a hug. I don't bring it up anymore maybe he's right and it will get better in time, so i might aswell just enjoy the hug.
(Ray's POV)
I can't worry about him if i worry i care and if i care some one gets hurt and thats not going to happen anymore i love them to much. No thats caring just don't think Ray don't think at all. Aww Frankie has fallen asleep on my lap so peacefull.
I don't know what to do anymore i just want to help them to save them all but i just make it worse. Mikeys ill, Bob's gone mad from what i gather from Frank Gerard is diffrent i don't know how Frank is worried and i don't know what to do with my self. I never really have but its worse now. Hopefully as i said to Frank it would all sort itseld out soon.
(Bob's POV)
There talking about you Bob they hate you, they wish they never saved you and you know it. You don't want to be here and you don't have to it will be so much easier here they think your safe. I meen who kills them self in a hospital its the least they'll expect but what they want, and they can have it can't they.
But you still love them you can't leave now what about Mikey you saw him when he came in. You scared him so much you hadn't wished for it to be him that found you, you only wanted him to know you loved him thats what the message was for the others could have told him and he didn't have to see it.
I bet they just thought you were pathetic though. They can all put up with the world but yo had to try and kill yourself. You lied to everyone you told your fans that suicide is bad you told your friends that to and then you go and try it. What sort of person does that make you then, a looser thats what a total looser who can't do anything but destroy things.
But you can get through this they want to help you. There is medicine that could help or a counciler or something like that. Im sure you friend will be more than happy to listen if you want to talk you should have told Frank earlyer he wanted to help. Next time they come talk to them they have to know what your thinking.
Yer there is medicine that would make you a drugged up zombie that couldn't do anything by yourself, and the counciler would make you feel small and useless more so than you are already. Why would your friends want to listen to what you have to say it would just bore them remember this Bob you are not worth shit.
(Mikey's POV)
They made me go to bed again i never do much else anymore all it is, is seizure after seizure then bed. I know its for the best that i rest but i want to go see Bobby he might think i've forgotten him or that i just don't want to go see him anymore.
I can hear them laughing and joking out there having fun with out me and i want to join them i really do. But if i go out there they will fuss and tell me to go back and rest. They just leave me in here alone Ray won't look at me with out his eyes getting all teary. Gerard and Frank just seem to forget im there. Billie joe, Tre and Mike will come in occasionaly but they allways leave quickly when i get upset. Its not my fault it's just everytime i think about what happened i see that message and Bobby lying there in a bath of blood his eyes wide and starring but hes not really there his soul is fading he not my Bob.
I can see it again, it's everywhere i look i can't breath. I can't breath it hurts my chest has gone tight and i feel sick. I try to call for some one i can't speak no sound is coming out. It hurts so bad my lungs feel like there going to burst, i cry and i can't stop but it only makes it worse. Why can't they hear me i need help "Hlp hep HELP" i manage to cry out but no one comes. "HELP ME PLEASE" i scream loudly and i can hear footsteps come running and suddenly im surrounded by the 6 of them. "I can't bb I can't bbreath hellpp me" i gasp trying to suck in any air i can get at "Mikey calm down you'll have another seizure if you panic" Gerard says but it's to late. Everything fades to black.
(Frank's POV)
Walking out of the hospital towards the stadium where we were still parked i realised something, Bob was acting weird really really weird.
I unlocked the bus door and walked on, Gerard was sitting at the counter with Billie, Tre and Mike deep in disscusion and Ray was sitting on the sofa doing well nothing. "Hey Ray can i talk to you please" i asked so i could see what he thought of Bob "sure whats up" he asked looking up from his hands. "Well it's Bob" i explain and all heads turn to me "oh my god whats he done now" Ray cried. Ok maybe not the best choice in words "no hes ok well atleast i think he is its just he was acting weird when i just went to see him" i explained and they carmed and the others went back to there convosations. "Frank hes been through alot of course hes going to act weird what did he do just stare at the wall" he said before continuing to look at his hands again. "No actually" i said "he pretended to be a heart moniter then asked me to wear a nurses outfit" i told him "what?" he laughed "yeh seriously". Ok i was expecting them to take it seriously not just laugh "Ray its not funny thats not Bob at all he's allways quiet not loud and cheeky thats my job". "Look Frank he will be fine give him time and he will be back to normal Bob not that any of us have ever been normal" he laughs and pulls me into a hug. I don't bring it up anymore maybe he's right and it will get better in time, so i might aswell just enjoy the hug.
(Ray's POV)
I can't worry about him if i worry i care and if i care some one gets hurt and thats not going to happen anymore i love them to much. No thats caring just don't think Ray don't think at all. Aww Frankie has fallen asleep on my lap so peacefull.
I don't know what to do anymore i just want to help them to save them all but i just make it worse. Mikeys ill, Bob's gone mad from what i gather from Frank Gerard is diffrent i don't know how Frank is worried and i don't know what to do with my self. I never really have but its worse now. Hopefully as i said to Frank it would all sort itseld out soon.
(Bob's POV)
There talking about you Bob they hate you, they wish they never saved you and you know it. You don't want to be here and you don't have to it will be so much easier here they think your safe. I meen who kills them self in a hospital its the least they'll expect but what they want, and they can have it can't they.
But you still love them you can't leave now what about Mikey you saw him when he came in. You scared him so much you hadn't wished for it to be him that found you, you only wanted him to know you loved him thats what the message was for the others could have told him and he didn't have to see it.
I bet they just thought you were pathetic though. They can all put up with the world but yo had to try and kill yourself. You lied to everyone you told your fans that suicide is bad you told your friends that to and then you go and try it. What sort of person does that make you then, a looser thats what a total looser who can't do anything but destroy things.
But you can get through this they want to help you. There is medicine that could help or a counciler or something like that. Im sure you friend will be more than happy to listen if you want to talk you should have told Frank earlyer he wanted to help. Next time they come talk to them they have to know what your thinking.
Yer there is medicine that would make you a drugged up zombie that couldn't do anything by yourself, and the counciler would make you feel small and useless more so than you are already. Why would your friends want to listen to what you have to say it would just bore them remember this Bob you are not worth shit.
(Mikey's POV)
They made me go to bed again i never do much else anymore all it is, is seizure after seizure then bed. I know its for the best that i rest but i want to go see Bobby he might think i've forgotten him or that i just don't want to go see him anymore.
I can hear them laughing and joking out there having fun with out me and i want to join them i really do. But if i go out there they will fuss and tell me to go back and rest. They just leave me in here alone Ray won't look at me with out his eyes getting all teary. Gerard and Frank just seem to forget im there. Billie joe, Tre and Mike will come in occasionaly but they allways leave quickly when i get upset. Its not my fault it's just everytime i think about what happened i see that message and Bobby lying there in a bath of blood his eyes wide and starring but hes not really there his soul is fading he not my Bob.
I can see it again, it's everywhere i look i can't breath. I can't breath it hurts my chest has gone tight and i feel sick. I try to call for some one i can't speak no sound is coming out. It hurts so bad my lungs feel like there going to burst, i cry and i can't stop but it only makes it worse. Why can't they hear me i need help "Hlp hep HELP" i manage to cry out but no one comes. "HELP ME PLEASE" i scream loudly and i can hear footsteps come running and suddenly im surrounded by the 6 of them. "I can't bb I can't bbreath hellpp me" i gasp trying to suck in any air i can get at "Mikey calm down you'll have another seizure if you panic" Gerard says but it's to late. Everything fades to black.
